Sunday, April 07, 2013

39 weeks and counting!

The baby isn't due until April 16, so we have still some time. However, since week 37 I've been ready to rock. Really, since the calendar flipped over to April. More really, since the baby decided to jam his head as far down into my pelvis as humanly possible without peeking out to high five me.

Babies are heavy, ya'll. Super heavy. And it feels like the only safety net holding him in place is the flattened, fragile pancake that was once my bladder.

Relaxin is not helping matters. Relaxin, if you don't know, is a hilariously named protein hormone that helps to loosen a woman's joints shortly before delivery. Makes sense, right? It's a mercy of nature I will appreciate in a week or two, I'm sure. However, right now, it's making waking up a real pain. I am so fortunate to be a deep sleeper, and I'm very lucky that I have been sleeping just fine. Less fortunately, when I wake in the morning, it's as though my hips have slowly broken away from the rest of my body for several hours. As I try to pull my relaxin'ed bones back together to shuffle frantically to the bathroom, the baby is heavier than ever and my legs are useless from the knees up. I've met several women in my life who twisted or broke their ankles during pregnancy, and now I'm really surprised it's not even more common. Add three hungry cats, circling, weaving, and rubbing ankles in demand of breakfast and my morning alarm might as well just be the Benny Hill theme.

This past week has been a little boring. I'm too big and tired to do much besides re-watch The Office and wonder if Kevin was part of some failed "Flowers for Algernon" experiment. (WHY DID HE GET PROGRESSIVELY DUMBER OVER 9 YEARS? REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS A POKER CHAMP?) It feels like I'm sort of stuck on hold. So much is about to change, and so drastically, and the tape is just about to start fast forwarding through sleepless months, many feedings, more changings, and a quickly growing person to cherish. But right now, I'm spinning my wheels on the couch, watching Jim ask Pam out again, trying to draw comics until my back is all "GURL YOU SHOULD BE RELAXIN--GET IT?" and my spine starts feeling like it's easing away from my pelvis.

And so eventually I recline uselessly back on the couch, feeling like I should be auditioning bounty hunters to bring me Han Solo while Elvis lounges over one shoulder, cackling, and I chortle, "Ooo kee vacca Chewbacca."

Today Ryan and I decided to take a few belly pictures before I give birth and we miss out on the chance. It's funny, I never wanted to have any pregnant belly photos of myself. That's not a thing I wanted to document, (only because before I got pregnant, I thought they were, you know, gross--as some of you may rightly think now). However, that was before I realized just how ridiculously shaped a pregnant belly can get. I've just been through 9 months of growing this part of my body bizarro gigantic, and heck, now I want pictures.

Most hilarious light check photo ever?

Admittedly, it took a few pictures to get that shitty "SO EXHAUSTED" look off my face.

Belly from the front

9 months, 3 weeks, 2 days, but who's counting?

Here's a little of that "weird shape" I was mentioning.
SO POINTY! They never shape bellies like this on tv (or make them
anywhere near big enough!)

I'm smiling because I've strategically placed my hand over some stretch marks.

Puck was enjoying the heating vent in the floor the whole time.

Ryan and I, taking a few "expectant parent" portraits.

Sweethearts :)


I love this one.

And this one.

I love this hunk so bad :)


And that's where we are now, just waiting for baby to join us!

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