Thursday, April 26, 2012

The 13 Most Useless College Majors (As Determined by Science): Thoughts

This Newsweek article is making its rounds on the Internet. My friend Sara, a Theater graduate, sent it to me, a Fine Arts graduate. Naturally it ruffled our feathers. 

"The 13 Most Useless College Majors (As Determined by Science)."

My husband and I both have the number one useless degree on this list, and we're very happy. We'd tell people not to go to college (don't go to college kids, it's a scam) before we would tell them to go and then not even follow their dreams!

It's ridiculous anyway. Here's a list of people sporting these useless degrees:

George R.R. Martin
Donald Glover
Martin Scorsese
Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)
Conan O'Brien
Andy Warhol
Freddie Mercury
Stephen King
George Lucas
President Obama
Mitt Romney
4/6 Monty Python Members (John had a law degree, Graham medicine)
Tina Fey
J.R.R. Tolkien
Hayao Miyazaki
Joss Whedon
Idina Menzel
Steve Carell
Stephen Colbert
Wes Anderson
Jimmy Stewart
Rashida Jones
Sasha Baron Cohen
Edward Norton
Ricky Gervais
Sir Ian McKellen

Honorable mention:
Indiana Jones
Liz Lemon
Giles from Buffy
Also, everyone writing for Newsweek.

I do joke around a lot, so I'll address kids wondering about my "Don't go to college" advice:

I'm serious.

Don't go to college if you are not willing to work independently/intern your butt off/pay your dues/move where the jobs are/volunteer freely every day (because you live to do whatever it is you're doing anyway) to pursue your dream. The real world swallows people who coast or just expect a job to be waiting within the first few years after college. When you graduate, that's when it actually gets really hard, because there's no one there to hand you the next step. If you're a person who does not hunt down the next step, you'll just free fall.

This of course, brings our conversation full circle back to Indiana Jones and the Anthropology degree he earned. This gave him the wisdom during the Last Crusade to understand the knights really meant "A Leap of Faith" when it came to crossing the chasm and finding the grail. However, Indiana Jones got himself there. He found a university that was hiring History professors, he worked all day, he stayed after class for labs with students, and then in his off time he traveled all over the world. He could have just sat at home and listened to the radio all day. That's probably what every other jerk off in his graduating class did.

So what it really comes down to is, are you Indiana Jones? Or just some nameless college kid who sat behind him in class? You need to know that before you go to college.

(For the record: Decide to be Indiana Jones).

2004: Here I am demonstrating my empty degree holder at my URI graduation.
(Our diplomas were mailed weeks later, so we had time to digest this poignant metaphor).


  1. If I went to college, I would TOTALLY be Indiana Jones! (I already have the fedora, so I wouldn't need to go out and buy one.)

  2. I do appreciate your views, however I'm not sure if everybody will agree with your views on college education. Everyone should decide on their own whether they want to college or not or if it would actually benefit them.


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